I’m a pretty selfish person. I can be demanding and discontent and really grouchy if things don’t go my way on certain things. God showed me that yesterday morning. It wasn’t in a condemning way and I didn’t even beat myself up about it. It was wow! I need to work on this.
I had been praying and asking God to help me get over some resentment I’ve had toward my husband. See my husband’s work every year takes some of their top people up to Mackinac Island for some team building activities for two days. They stay on the island and bond and have a great time. This year they are staying in the Grand Hotel. What’s the issue you might ask? No spouses are allowed and I have to say I have been really bratty about it every single year. 🙁
OK, back to me praying about getting over this resentment. It controls me and robs me of my joy a month before and even after not to mention how I make him pay for it with my attitudes and moods. I know that’s sin and I do want to grow. So, I decided to ask God to show me what the root of this is and what I can do to change. I didn’t hear much that day but he woke me up early the next morning and during my quiet time,
He told me I was SELFISH!
In this situation with my hubby I was not loving him and not only was I not loving him but I was punishing him, He didn’t make the rules and he can’t change them so I can’t punish him.
I went on to read:
I Cor. 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
and then the author said these words:
Love doesn’t act like a jerk. It is patient and kind and doesn’t act like it knows all the answers. ( I would add here it doesn’t act like a martyr). It isn’t rude or disrespectful and doesn’t act in a self-centered way, doesn’t fly off the handle and doesn’t allow past wounds to dictate the present situation.
CONVICTED!!
I felt God asked me to send my husband off with a blessing instead of a curse. So I made these little Love cards to slip into his shorts pocket and his toiletry bag, etc. I will also pack him some of his favorite snacks and pray that God blesses him while he’s gone.
You could also use these cards to put in your kids lunchboxes for the school year coming up!
Thanks for letting me share my sometimes ugly heart with you. I look forward to loving my husband well and allowing God to chip away at my selfishness. What about you?
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Yes, you absolutely must send your husband off on his trip with a blessing. You will feel so much better, and it will make him feel supported and loved. BUT, your husband has to do his part, too. He knows you would like to go along with him, knows you would like to enjoy some time away, etc., etc., so he has to let you know that he WISHES you could go along, that he'll miss you, that he'll be sure to tell you everything he's learned and get your feedback, and so on. What he SHOULD NOT DO is tell you what an incredibly fun time he's having, that the surroundings are so beautiful that he just can't explain it, etc. That would be cruel. How do I know all this? My hubby used to travel – a lot – to the most wonderful, historic, and beautiful places – but I was never able to go. We had very small children, very little money, and I had obligations at home. When he would come home, he went on and on and on about the fun time he had, all the fantastic sights he took in, and how he couldn't wait to go back – and then he got around to asking how my time went with the house and kids! I couldn't figure out why my mood would change as he got ready for each trip, till I realized I was resentful – I, too, wanted a break to enjoy "me" time, but it could never be. Even when I was able to articulate what I was feeling, he couldn't understand. He assured me that he, too, worked during his trips, and that the time away wasn't all fun and games (equating what he was doing to what I was doing holding down the fort!). I finally came to accept that he was working to support his family and that the pressure of being a breadwinner needed some relief. Once I learned where he was going, I would get information about sights of interest, recommended restaurants, etc., and made him promise to check them out and tell me what he learned! Didn't always work, but at least I felt a part of the process. Good luck and God bless!!!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I REALLY appreciate you stopping by to share with me your wisdom and experience. It means a lot to me. Barb
Your heart is soft to God’s word. And you took the chance to remind us all that there may be things to still work on in our lives:)
Thanks so much Angie!! I appreciate your encouragement. Have a great weekend. Barb
If I was in the same situation I would try to make it a "vacation" for myself at home. Kind of let things go…eat ice cream for dinner, etc. I'd research about things in my own town and go visit them and other nearby places. I'm easily entertained so driving through a new neighborhood, visiting a museum or park is enough to satisfy me. It sounds like there's plenty of notice to schedule this time "off" too. I'd make no appointments and skip all lessons, etc. for that week. Selfishness is definitely a tough one to work on. I have to pray every day to take notice and serve others first.
Julie, GREAT tips! and I did that. I LOVE to camp and my daughter has time off work so we are going camping!! I got the last reservable campsite at a new campground that came highly recommended and we will be going camping. Thank you so much for taking time to encourage me! I REALLY appreciate it.