Today is a day I’m forced to face my fears, even when I don’t want to. I am sitting in a surgery room at a hospital. It’s the last place I want to be. Drew my miracle boy is having another surgery. sigh….
This surgery compared to what Drew has gone through is really minor. But when I woke up this morning with my heart racing, I knew it was a much bigger deal to ME that I was expecting. After they took him back to get him changed I went to the cafeteria and when the tears started flowing I knew my fears needed facing. I so wanted to be BRAVE and strong and face this without any fear, so much so I told everyone not to come wait with me. But I wasn’t prepared emotionally for this or maybe I’m exactly where God wants me to be to do some deep work.
This morning in the shower God reminded me of a lie I have been believing.
I have believed and I’m sure there are others of you out there who have believed this same lie. Here it is:
If God gives me something good, then there has to be bad to follow. I have believed that God only has so many blessings for me and that we (my family) have almost used up all of our blessings from God. OK, now when I write this it sounds crazy, but keep reading.
I mean I’ve had 6 kids & 5 grand kids with no birth defects, there have been very few issues health wise, with the exception of Drew, but he’s a miracle so that’s HUGE. No one has cancer. We are blessed. We have a great life.
But I live with ambivalent feelings. God has provided so faithfully and blessed us so much it can’t surely continue. OK, Barb STOP right there. Who said it can’t continue? Where did I first believe that lie?
When I live like this I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Living this way ROBS me & you of our joy and abundant life. I become afraid of receiving GOOD in my life because I don’t want bad. This is really twisted!
God graciously whispered this scripture to me this morning.
The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:22,23 NLT
He doesn’t just have ___x__ amount of blessings for us. He has something new for us every morning and sometimes we have to look those fears straight in the face to be able to see them.
The doctor just came in. Surgery went well and there is no need for him to stay over night. Thank you Jesus for protecting Drew and thank you for putting me in a situation to look at those nasty lies that rob me of LIFE.
What lies are you believing, that you need to look at??? Don’t let satan rob you.