From "I Do" to "Uh Oh": Recognizing When Your Marriage Needs a Tune-Up

With the new year here and goals on my mind, I love to do an evaluation of my relationships. I did a little marriage check up. I’m finding that my attitude is getting a little snarky and my tongue is a little too sharp. How about you? Do you need some fine-tuning in this area? Here are some things we can evaluate?

1. Am I harboring grudges or bitterness?

Sometimes this takes time to figure out, so I sit down and journal and ask God to show me any hidden grudges. I don’t know if you’re like me but I know I’m not supposed to hold grudges and I don’t want to so instead of dealing with it I bury it and then a snarky attitude pops up. So for me, this is the first question I ask myself.

2. When’s the last time we’ve really communicated?

I need more than just this is what needs to be done today. What do you need me to get for you from the store? I NEED that time to connect. Date nights do it for me and I know it’s hard to find the time, but it is a MUST if we are going to like each other. Here are some great date night ideas here.

3. Have I been speaking his love language?

We almost always speak our love language instead of his. It takes a conscious effort to meet “His” love language. Want more ideas? Here is a post on some creative ways to say I love you.

4. When’s the last time I said “thank you” for all he does for me and the family.

5. When’s the last time I made his favorite meal, instead of always catering to the kids?

Or his favorite pie or cookies?

6. Am I taking care of myself physically?

Am I always looking like a bum when he comes home? I know there is a fine line here, but it’s good to review every so often.

7. Am I eagerly desiring my husband physically?

If not, I need to figure out why? It could be I’m tired, it could be we haven’t connected in a while, it could be I don’t feel good about myself, It could be I’m harboring bitterness? It’s important we check in on this every so often. If you need some help with this area please read my post on Loving your husband Intimately