Marriage Advice from a Husband’s Perspective after 36 Years

Today we have been married 36 years and Barb asked me to do a guest post, so, I decided I would make my one spot appearance! Last year Barb wrote an article about 35 Things I’ve Learned in 35 Years of Marriage. I am not going to try for 36 but, I thought I would give some reasons why you should work to stay married:

1.       It is the right thing to do! Unless you took vows written in the modern world of staying married until you feel different, you made a commitment till death do you part. Now, excluding issues of abuse, etc. it is my humble opinion that a commitment is a commitment! I know, doesn’t sound romantic at all, but in reality, it is the most romantic gesture you can ever make to your spouse.

2.       Make it right.  Once you have made the commitment to stay put in the marriage, make it a good one! In today’s world, we are lied to all the time that there is one person out there for us, and we need to find our soul mate. Well, if you are married, look across the table at your spouse. You got it, they are your soul mate!!! Now….. roll up your sleeves and start working on a great marriage. The first step in any endeavor is deciding!

3.       Be right. Part of a successful marriage is focusing on being the right partner. You really have no ability(contrary to what you think) of changing your spouse, but you have total control of changing or making the decision to change yourself. Being the right spouse vs. wanting the right spouse is a big key to a successful marriage.

4.       Doing what is right brings happiness. In Genesis, Cain is downcast because his sacrifice(done against the way God asked for it) was not accepted, but Abel’s was. God said to Cain(paraphrase) hey, do the right thing, and then you will be happy! Happiness comes as a result of the right decisions and choices, not following our emotions. Want a happy marriage? Make the right decisions that you know will benefit the marriage, and watch how happiness seems to follow!

5.       Don’t right your spouse. What I mean is, don’t try to make your spouse be the person you think they should be. They are who they are, just the way God created them. Celebrate who they are, not who they aren’t!

6.       Your differences are right! Too many times I have heard, well, we have nothing in common, therefore, we were not meant for each other. I got news for you.  no one is like you!!! Celebrate the differences, not the sameness. How boring to be just like the one you are married to!! Remember, if two people were exactly the same, one of them is not needed!!!

Ok, so a few things to chew on, spit out if you like, or just ignore. But……….. I urge you to consider that marriage is a journey, not enjoyed always at the moment, but cherished over the years of struggle, heartache, joy, success, failure, and memories. You need a lot of them before you realize how great the journey is. Take the time to collect them.

Thanks, Jim for sharing your wisdom!!!  Aren’t I blessed to have such a great husband??  We only have that because we’ve applied the above principles and you can too!

 Let me know your thoughts I’d love to pass them on to Jim.

Here are some more articles on marriage please check them out.